MEMORY VERSE: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.” Songs of Solomon 1:2.
BIBLE PASSAGE: Song of Solomon 1:13-17.
INTRODUCTION
Just as a romantic adventure begins when two people first ‘fall in love’, a successful marriage requires ‘keeping love alive’ by maintaining the excitement, passion, and commitment they had in the early days of their relationship. It is easy to get caught up in the daily routine of life, but
couples must prioritise their relationship and make intentional choices to keep the spark of undying love alive. This lesson will consider some of the things couples do to kill romance in their relationships as well as try to identify practical things couples could do to enrich their marriage relationship.
OUTLINES
- DON’T QUENCH THE FIRE OF LOVE!
- KEEPING THE SPARK ALIVE
- DON’T QUENCH THE FIRE OF LOVE!
Some ladies invest in themselves to be perfect when they are at the courting stage of the relationship, but immediately after the wedding, they fall into habits that harm their relationship with their spouse. Some of these include: attempting to change their husband into a clone of themselves ignoring the different personality traits Proverbs 14:1; Ephesians 5:21. Constantly nagging or criticising Proverbs 21:19; 27:15, drastically reducing opportunities for physical intimacy by not making it priority Song of Solomon 1:2; 1 Corinthians 7:5, not appreciating or taking their husband’s efforts for Romans 12:10b; Proverbs 21:19. No longer taking the time to look good attractive Proverbs 5:19, being unsupportive and disrespectful to their husbands proverbs 12:4.
After going through all things necessary to nurture a romantic relationship to the phase of marriage, some men also change drastically. Such men go from being the ‘loving, ever-supportive companion’ to an uncaring, insensitive dictator who neglects his spouse on purpose. They prioritise the making of money over spending quality time with their spouse Song of Solomon 5:6; 3:1. They tactically and practically leave every aspect of household chores to the wife alone. Some men even overlook the contributions their wives make in the upkeep of the home, preferring that they be seen and not heard 1 Timothy 5:8. They stop being romantic or using words of affirmation towards their spouse. Because of their ego, these men stop applying the love languages and refuse to apologise when they are wrong 1 Peter 3:7. Such attitudes kill off love in the marriage relationship, avoid them!
2. KEEPING THE SPARK ALIVE
Relationship is a two-way street; it requires give and take. Therefore, partners must work together to sustain the glow. Here are some ways to keep the flame of love aglow in your relationship:
- Communicate: Develop effective ways to communicate your feelings, needs, and thoughts to your partner. Be an active listener and use verbal, non-verbal, digital options to keep in touch Proverbs 15:23; 25:11-12.
- Initiate intimacy: Hugging, kissing, regular sex, holding hands, and sharing secrets no one else knows are key ingredients of Intimacy. These are essential for building trust and honesty in our relationships. Song of Solomon 1:2; Proverbs 5:19.
- Express gratitude: The expression of gratitude to one another regularly can make good times even better and help you through bad times Hebrews 10:24.
- ‘Having me time’: Maybe some ‘alone time’ away from your partner for a short while may reduce the tendency to be too familiar (‘see finish syndrome ‘) and rekindle the fire of love. Song of Solomon 3:1-4.
- Be adventurous: Go beyond the events of the day, take fun-filled trips, and build new experiences together like a new hobby e.g. cuisine, vacation, run a marathon, etc. Genesis 26:8; Song of Solomon 2:14.
- Seek to impress each other: Remember the things you did at the beginning of your love journey that endeared your spouse to you e.g. wear a scent or colour of clothing your spouse likes seeing on you Song of Solomon 4:10-11.
- Put your Phone down: Stay present whenever you are together.
- Have fun! Make laughing together your top priority Proverbs 17:22.
- Plan surprise dates Day -out and time away from home together is helpful, ensure you do not skip it. Try to change location for the sake of variety.
- Set annual family goals together: Work together on family projects, overcome challenges together, build a shared vision and prioritise the relationship Amos 3:3
CONCLUSION
Remember that change starts with you.
FURTHER READING
Sun: Amos 3:3.
Mon: Song of Solomon 5:6.
Tues: Genesis 26:8.
Wed: Proverbs 5:19.
Thurs: Proverbs 17:22.
Fri: Hebrews 10:24.
Sat: Song of Solomon 4:10-11.