MEMORY VERSE:“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverences her husband.” Ephesians 5:33.

BIBLE PASSAGE: :Ephesians 5:22-29


According to the bible, marriage is when a man is joined to his wife in the presence of God in a consensual relationship that makes the two become one in all things Genesis 2:21-25. Marriage is an honorable institution Hebrews 13:4 and a lifetime commitment Matthew 19:6. However, it is generally observed that some marriages are in a state of ‘coma’ or completely ‘dead’, while some ‘merely exist’. What is the status of your marriage as a believer? It is interesting to know that God’s desire is that we all have ‘living marriages’.





“Marriage in coma’: This is a marriage in which neither of the spouses feel the presence of each other nor spend enough quality time together. Because of these actions, bitterness, and resentment spring up in their hearts towards one another Hebrews 12:15. The couple refuse to keep the lines of communication open. They dwell more on each other’s weaknesses or offences 1 Samuel 25:25-26. In this kind of marriage, there is selfishness, and the partners may be inconsiderate Philippians 2:3.

‘Dead marriage’: in this kind of marriage, there are no traces of true love. They are not divorced but may be separated. Even if they are living under the same roof, there is no emotional attachment/attraction or genuine concern for each other’s wellbeing. They are more like familiar strangers or two people just sharing the same space 1 Corinthians 3:3.

“Living marriage’:this is a kind of marriage where the couple dwell together in understanding, patience, sacrifice, love and enjoying the company of each other Genesis 26:8. Over time they have learnt to manage their weaknesses and excesses.


A living marriage benefits from a mutual fulfilment derived from mutual selfless commitment to the marital union. This can only be achieved by determination and deliberate effort of both partners. Here are some characteristics of a living marriage:

  1. Love: the love between such couple transcends ‘eros’ (sexual intimacy) or ‘philio’ (friendship). It is the God’s kind of love that is unconditional and sacrificial 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; Ephesians 5:24-25. A couple in a living marriage are prepared to ‘weather the storm’ throughout their lifetime.
  2. Mutual support: this couple makes the decision to stay and support each other through ‘thick and thin’ Galatians 6:2.
  3. Forgiveness: conflicts are inevitable, and sometimes healthy because it promotes a better understanding. The couple is quick to ask for forgiveness as well as to grant it Ephesians 4:32.
  4. Kindness:They maintain a great habit of being kind and understanding to each other in all ways Romans 12:10.
  5. Commitment: They show keen interest in the progress of each other’s career, ministry, business, extended families, etc. They share each other’s views and visions Philippians 2:4.
  6. Appreciation: They develop the attitude of gratitude and celebrate each other Philippians 2:3.
  7. Acceptance: They do not dwell on the weakness of each other but prayerfully work on each other and trust god for positive changes Ephesians 4:2.
  8. Time: They spend quality time together in understanding and knowing each other Genesis 26:8; Ecclesiastes 9:9.


In a living marriage, ego is reduced to the barest minimum to enjoy marital bliss.


SUN: Romans 12:10
MON:Ephesians 4:32
TUE: Philippians 2:3
WED: Ecclesiastes 9:9
THUR: Galatians 6:2
FRI: 1 Samuel 25:25-26
SAT: Ephesians 4:2.


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