Sunday School Lesson 33
BEFORE YOU SAY “I DO”
MEMORY VERSE: “Test al things; hold fast what is good. ” — 1 The. 5:21 (NKJV)
BIBLE PASSAGE: Genesis 29:11-20
LESSON INTRODUCTION :
The foundation of a godly marriage must be properly laid on sound moral and Biblical principles. Before the exchange of vows, where the Christian brother and sister will say ‘I do’, they should have passed through the phase of courtship and ensure that all things are done decently and in order. 1 Cor. 14:40; Amos 3:3. The intending couple should also watch out for some ‘red flags’ before saying ‘I do’.
LESSON OUTLINES
1. IMPORTANCE OF COURTSHIP
2. RED FLAG TO WATCH OUT FOR
IMPORTANCE OF COURTSHIP
Christian courtship is that period before marriage when a Christian brother or sister make plans, relate and reach a compromise on so many issues pertaining to their future together.
Courtship is very important and necessary for the intending couple to observe during which proper biblical foundation must be laid in order to have a happy married life (1 Thess. 5:21).
One vital issue that must be addressed during this period is to obtain the consent of both parents ( Gen.24:54-59). Courtship is a period to get to know each other intimately apart from carnal knowledge and illicit romance. (1 Cor. 6:18-20; Rom. 12:1-2).
You can pray, study the Bible or attend Christian programs together but avoid hanging out in deviled and tempting places (2 Cor. 2:11; 1 Thess. 5:22).
Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses,likes and dislikes, parents, etc. It is also expedient that you undertake marriage counselling lessons together during courtship (Prov. 11:14).
RED FLAG TO WATCH OUT FOR
There are a number of “red flags” to watch out for before entering a permanent marriage relationship.
Unfortunately, these indicators may not be visible until after the wedding takes place, since some Christians are skilled at hiding their true natures or change with circumstances.
However, a short list of things to look out for includes irrational jealousy, deception,
the strive to be in control( dominate the other partner), physical or emotional abuse/violence, a quick (hot) temper, cruelty towards animals, adherence to unscriptural traditional values, attempts to isolate the other person from his or her friends and family, drug abuse, smoking, disrespect for boundaries, privacy/personal space or low moral values.
If you see any of the warning signs or other strange behaviours in a persist you are entering a marriage relationship with, please pray and seek advice from spiritual leaders or marriage counsellors before you say ‘I do’ (Mark 14:38; Prov. 15:22; 19:20). Marriage should not be view as a ‘do or die’ affairs. You have a destiny to fulfill ( Jer. 29:11).
You may consider the saying that ‘a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage’ and make a wise/ informed decision (Eccl. 10:10; 1 Core. 7:15b).
CONCLUSION : Watch and pray before you say “I DO”.
QUESTIONS
1. Discuss the importance of courtship.
2. Mention some of the red flags to watch out for before you say ‘I do’.